California Wildfires Are Bush Administrations Fault

Writen by Lance Winslow

We see California Wildfires today? Where is FEMA, they should have known there might be fires in California in the future. Obviously FEMA has no crystal ball and the Bush Administration did not put in a requisition for a crystal ball or put together a team of psychics, as per Jesse Jackson’s plan; who might have used their magical powers and averaged out the results to pin-point which states might have a wild fire.

Additionally President Bush is Personally responsible for the Solar Flares as the Sun is now off cycle from its solar minimum, which has heated up the atmosphere. Even the plate tectonics and continental drifts is out a little compared with scientific theories of cycles. This of course is obviously George Walker Bush’s Fault in fact he is personally responsible for all of this. Should we demand a public apology, some one must be blamed, George Bush is President and so he should be blamed for the Sun’s activity and the rest of the Universe too.

The Volcanic activity recently in Mexico and the Earthquake in Peru are causing seismic activity and this is causing volcanic activity which makes smoke in the atmosphere and this is Bush’s Fault too.

The 2005 Hurricane Season and the Typhoons recently in Asia, yep, Bush’s fault. Many are now calling for a Special Independent Impartial Federal Investigation chaired by The Honorable and Noble Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as to why Bush allowed these natural disasters to happen and why he is allowing these fires and volcanoes to spew smoke and ask into the atmosphere, which hurt wildlife; including but not limited to Elk, deer, spotted owls, desert turtles, endangered rats and Panda Bears in China.

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said; “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kerry!” How right he is; we all know that had JF Kerry been elected that he would have put an end to this wastefulness of Continental Drift once and for all.

John Kerry the bright star of the Democratic Party in all his granger would have dimmed the Sun for us and calmed it down so it would not be so hot causing these California Wildfires. If John Kerry and Edwards were elected; John 1; would have demanded that Hurricane Katrina Stop and John 2 would have filed a cease and desist on Hurricane Rita in a Court of Law. John Edwards would have followed it up that with a Whopper of a lawsuit if Rita had persisted and then filed Mold lawsuits against homeowners trying to rebuild their homes, for the greater good.

It is Bush’s fault, we want him to admit it on National TV and we want him to apologize for letting these Volcanoes, Earthquakes, wildfires, Hurricanes, Typhoons, Tsunamis, Continental Drift, Ice Age, Solar Flares and Tornadoes right now. Think on it, after all it is all George Walker Bush’s fault. Next time vote for Democrats, as they promise to stop all these things by raising taxes.

Lance Winslow

Just Dialogue 2

Writen by Andy Carloff

It’s all jus’ dialogue!

The Darwin E-mail Incident

I was talking online, bashing Creationists, Catholics, and anyone else who was easily offended by the anatomically correct word for fucking, and a mysterious dilemma unfolded. The first five or so lines actually occured, and inspired me to write this article. Lez watch!

Conversation With Creationist…

Creationist: Your Evolutionist lies are false! False false false false!

Punkerslut: You see, though, there are Reversionary and Vestigial organs which show that we have ancestors that were from a lower species.

Creationist: What do you mean? Just forget it… Give me Darwin’s e-mail address so I can tell him he’s wrong.

Punkerslut: Uuummmmm…..

Creationist: Come on! Don’t be a coward! If your ideas can stand up to criticism, tell me Darwin’s e-mail address!

Punkerslut: Uuuummmmm….

Creationist: I knew it! You’re afraid I’ll prove Darwin wrong! Admit it!

Punkerslut: Actually…. Darwin’s e-mail address is… [glances around quickly] punkersluta@excite.com…. Yeah, that’s it.

[Note: That's my e-mail address, folks.]

Creationist: Good! I’ll be taking care of him shortly!

Punkerslut: You know he’s German, too, right?

Creationist: Of course I knew that!

Letter From Creationist To “Darwin”…

Gutentag, Heir Darwin,

It has come to my attention that you think a monkey gave birth to a human. Stop telling lies, because they’re teaching it in the schools. If you have any evidence please bring it up.

Yours in Christ,

Letter From “Darwin” to Creationist”…

Zeig heil!

I, Darwin, would like to start this letter off with some interesting observations I’ve noticed…

(1) You are…

(2) Dumb.

(3) Repeat 1 and 2 as necessary.

(4) Not tested on animals.

Furthermore… I am gay, and I have sexual fetishes about Sigmund Freud, but he doesn’t know this yet. I’m thinking about asking one of the people he sits with at lunch to tell him, but I dunno.

Sincerely, Darwin

Letter From Creationist To “Darwin”…

Since you are a living abomination (you like men the way men should like women), I will not consort with you. Begone, foul minion!

You’re in my prayers, Darwin…

Yours in Christ,

Conversation With Creationist…

Creationist: Darwin’s gay!

Punkerslut: Huh? Oh, well, yeah, I guess he is.

Creationist: What’s Sigmund Freud’s e-mail?

Punkerslut: Uuhhh, heheh…

Creationist: Tell me!

Punkerslut: It’s, uhhhh, punkersluta@excite.com…

Creationist: Hey, that’s the same as Darwin’s!

Punkerslut: Hhhmmm, you’re right, it is. Just make sure you address who you’re talking to. They like, all live in the same dorm and use the same computer.

Creationist: Oh, okay.

Punkerslut: Don’t forget that he’s Vietnamese!

Letter From Creationist To “Freud”…

Hoa Bin Freud,

Tika tika tong, evolution wrong, Foo foo fay, darwin gay, Taa taa too, he dreams of you,

Muka muka mighst, yours in Christ,

Letter From “Freud” to Creationist….

Aca picka ticka bata picka alca picka too picka alta ticka pik tana sicka Darwina…

Conversation With Creationist…

Creationist: Hey, what gives with Freud? He doesn’t make any sense!

Punkerslut: Yeah, I forget. He’s Vietnamese, but he speaks Hindustani.

Creationist: Aaawwww, and I went through all that trouble translating.

Punkerslut: I’m sure you did.

Creationist: What do you mean by that?

Punkerslut: Uhhh, nothing.

Letter from “Darwin” to Creationist…

Zeig heil!

I am sorry if I offended you my stating I was gay. But please, send me your picture. I’ve been getting… restless.

Yours in Gay-Ness, Darwin,

Letter from Creationist to “Darwin”…

I refuse to further continue talking to you, and now I will forward these e-mails to my system administrator with a note that you’ve been harassing me. You are the weakest link, Darwin! Good bye!

Letter from Creationist to System Administrator…

Hello,

There’s a gay, German scientist named Darwin who invented Evolution, and his sexual advances towards me lately have been unbearable. Please, disable his account.

Letters to a Creationist

Actual letters by Punkerslut to Creationist… written while on drugs or alcohol.

… first letter written under leftover Dex.

Date: Thursday, May 8, 2003
To: paul@zzz.com
Subject: An Inquiry on Darwin’s Works

Greetings, and well met,

I had the fortunate opportunity to come across your website on Creationism when searching the web for information on this belief.

I read the “Creationism FAQ,” but I thought it was thick with propaganda. For example, look at every question you answer — or every question which you put in the mouth of the Evolution scientist. It’s not reasoned, nor is it logical, nor is it even respectful. Instead, you sort of create the debate for both sides, without actually quoting any scientists — despite how you say you “present both sides of the media, unlike liberal media and Hollywood.” The Evolution scientist appears to be vulgar and insulting, whereas you try to make your arguments well reasoned.

I also skimmed the “A Defense of Creationism,” and I tried to skip all the boring, circumstantial evidence and get to the part where you actually answer the primary evidences of Evolution, but…. I reached the Conclusion of the paper before actually getting to that part.

This leads me to a new, higher belief, one more valid than either Evolution or Creationism…

Creationists are illiterate. It’s as simple as that. I know that if I had doubts about a belief, I would read the primary book supporting that belief. I read the Bible, and I don’t believe it, and I have shown in some of my writings reasons why. I also read “Origin of the Species” by Charles Darwin. The fact that you can’t draw out examples why he was wrong, or why you don’t even attack his base arguments, is quite clear of one fact: you must be illiterate. Because, if someone opposed Evolution without reading the words of scientists, and they opposed it so vehemently that they vocalized their opinion as much as possible, it would be quite clear that they were stupid beyond belief. But I would not like to assume this about you at all, so I will just settle with illiterate.

Thank you, again, for your website.

www.punkerslut.com

For 108,
Punkerslut

*************************

Date: Sat, 10 May 2003 10:44:20 -0700
From: paul@zzz.com
To: punkersluta@excite.com
Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin’s Works

Hey Ben,

Thanks for your note. Wow - you’ve got some thick glasses on. But best wishes for the future.

Paul

*************************

Date: Saturday, May 10, 2003
To: paul@zzz.com
Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin’s Works

I have some thick glasses on? I sure hope that’s not some retarded reference to the theology of Van Til. I know I can’t read much of his work without thinking that humans just might not be the most intelligent creature on the world. I mean, truly, there are some Christian works out there which simply are marvelous, though all of them today are still considered heretical. Tolstoi, for example, was a great mind, and he called himself a Christian, but he was excommunicated for believing that there was no afterlife.

Anyway, feel free to tell me where Darwin went wrong in “Descent of Man” or “Origin of the Species,” and if you don’t make any more Van Til-related remarks, I may respond.

www.punkerslut.com

For Life,
Punkerslut

*************************

Date: Tue, 13 May 2003 10:23:55 -0700
From: To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin’s Works

Hi,

Yeah, thick glasses … and an attitude. Why the emotions? Are you considering our origins scientifically or (actually) emotionally and with prejudice.

…high schoolers… (sigh) …

*************************

[written under high infulence of aclohlo.]

Date: Tuesday, May 13, 2003
To: paul@zzz.com
Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin’s Works

Ha, amusing…

“High schoolers…” That’s incredibly amusing. Instead of actually making any statement of relevance to the current debate, you devert to some inept, two year old remark. “High schoolers…” It doesn’t even fit me, because I’m a high school drop out. But that doesn’t change anything. You haven’t brought any of Darwin’s points to light. You haven’t criticized even a single one of them. And since you didn’t really consider any of my e-mails, I’m still highly convinced that you’re simply illiterate.

www.punkerslut.com

For Life,
Punkerslut

Punkerslut’s Opinion On Hazing

Punkerslut: Hey, I got suspended from campus.

Friend: What the hell for?

Punkerslut: Fighting. I beat the crap out of some guy who was about to haze someone else.

Friend: Good job, man.

A week later…

Punkerslut: Hey, they found out that I was doing something good and they welcomed me back to campus.

Friend: Right on.

Punkerslut: But then I asked, “If I killed him, would I get straight As for this quarter?” And then they threw me off campus again.

Friend: Sucks.

Punkerslut’s Promiscuity

Punkerslut: Hey, I’m gonna get something to drink. You want some soda?

Female: Yeah, sure.

Punkerslut: When I come back, you want to make out?

Female: Uhhhmmm, I’m not that kind of girl.

Punkerslut: Well, what kind of girl are you?

Female: The kind that doesn’t make out with guys she barely knows.

Punkerslut: You could have just said no and I would have picked that up.

Biodome

[Added on Wednesday, June 4, 2003, at 4:31 in the morning.]

Punkerslut: In computer class, we watched two movies. First, “Biodome.” And then, “Tron.” All the preps and jocks were bored during “Tron” and loved “Biodome;” but the outcasts, the geeks, the nerds, the social rejects, the political dissidents, the artsy kids, and even the bling bling rappers and gangstas hated “Biodome” and loved “Tron.” “‘ey, G… Tron is da’ bom’, yo’.” Okay, so nobody really said exactly that, but it was like that.

Friend: What the hell is “Biodome” about?

Punkerslut: Oh, well, Pauly Shore is in it.

Friend: That right there is a review, synopsis, summary, and conclusion to the film.

Punkerslut: Tru dat, brotha’.

www.punkerslut.com

For Life,

Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry on social issues which have caught his attention for several years. His website http://www.punkerslut.com provides a complete list of all of these writings. His life experience includes homelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, getting expelled from college for “subversive activities,” and a myriad of other revolutionary actions.

No Single Nation Can Impose Democracy on Another

Writen by Lance Winslow

Imposing Democracy on another nation is something that many academics and philosopher types have debated over many decades. Some believe that no single nation can impose Democracy over another nation. Indeed these same people will argue that no group of nations should impose democracy over another either. And this would also include any group called a League of Nations, United Nations or One World Government.

However there are many who are in the United Nations who believe that there are many instances when such imposition would be necessary to prevent war, human rights abuses or and out of control government regime. It is for this reason that many could argue that there will be circumstances when it will be necessary to remove a radical regime such as a dictatorship and replace that government’s leadership with a Democracy.

What do you do with a Nation State whose leadership insists on funding and sponsoring International Terrorists or even giving them nuclear weapons to use on large civilian populations and cities? Perhaps a protocol is needed of when to impose a legitimate democracy on another nation and rather than allowing the Security Council of the United Nations, which is totally political, to decide when to do something about a menacing problem which is bound to get worse. Consider this in 2006.

Lance Winslow

I Got to Play an April Fool’s Joke Before I was Born

Writen by Verleen Wonderly

I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least.

To get the full story I must go back and remind everyone what medical tests were like in the 1970’s, they were improving, but still far from the reliability, and accuracy that we take for granted today.

There were already four children in the house, the oldest a boy, who was seventeen, and the youngest a girl age nine. Two of them from my father’s first marriage, and two from one of my mother’s previous marriages. I would be the second try for them to have a child in common. The first resulted in a miscarriage when my mother was just three months along.

Since she’d already lost one child, the doctors were watching my mother closely to try to prevent this from happening again, thus they ran every test they had available at the time. My parents were told nothing but good news, there was no reason this baby wouldn’t carry to term. To top if off, they said it was a boy and the due date was April 8th. Both of my parents were jubilant and all four kids were excited about gaining a new little brother. They quickly chose to name me after my grandfather, George.

Now, we fast forward to April 1st, as my mother’s due date is nearing. My parents were planning to attend a function at a local club where my father was a member. Before leaving, they decided they had the perfect opportunity to play an April Fool’s joke on the kids, they would pretend my mother was in labor and they were really leaving to go to the hospital.

The kids had heard them talking about the evening out in previous days so they weren’t falling for it, they told them that they knew perfectly well it was April Fool’s day and the baby wasn’t even due yet. Trying to keep up the game, my mother still pretended to be having contractions, and they got in the car, and left the house.

Then suddenly a big surprise did hit! My mother’s water broke in the car on the way to town and my dad had to turn tail and race for the hospital. After getting my mother checked into the maternity ward, he tried calling the kids to let them know what had really happened. At this point, their brilliant April Fool’s trick totally backfired. The kids still refused to believe him, they told him to go back to dinner and stop trying to fool them.

My mother labored through the night and finally, I entered the world at twenty minutes past midnight on April 2nd. Here came another surprise, their chosen name of George wasn’t going to work, I was a girl. They hadn’t even pondered a girl’s name since they were so sure the baby was going to be a boy, but that is a tale for another time.

Once again, my father tried to call home and let the kids know about their new baby sister, but they still refused to believe him. They told him it was almost one in the morning, so April Fool’s day was over, and on top of that, they knew the baby was going to be a boy, not a girl. They all said goodnight to him, hung up the phone and went back to bed.

Realizing how badly their attempted joke had backfired, my father had to drive home, roust them all out of bed, grumbling and tired at two in the morning. Then he drove them all to the hospital so he could prove to them that it wasn’t still an April Fool’s joke.

Needless to say, the story of my birth and this April Fool’s trick was told many times in my family as I was growing up, and to this day my Dad says it was the best April Fool’s joke he ever thought up.

Verleen Wonderly is a published, freelance writer and has worked for the website http://www.dealofday.com since it’s inception in 1999.

How To Get Attention, or: ‘As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!’

Writen by Kai Virihaur

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers.

But how do you get somebody’s undivided attention? When you were an infant, you got attention by screaming and crying. Then your parents knew you needed your diapers changed. As an adult, you can try using the same method to get noticed. Sure, you will get noticed - but in a negative way!

On the Internet, every website that is selling something has the need to be attention-grabbing within seconds; to make the visitors read about their offer rather than just clicking away. Some are then tempted to use the infant method of getting attention: screaming and yelling.

Popup-windows that pop up in your face and obscure the page text you’re just trying to read, is one example. Flash-generated intro’s that stop you in your tracks and say “Heeey, wait - before you read about our products I’ve got this f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c visual effect to show you…!” is another example of attention-grabbing contraptions that actually defeat their own purpose. They visually yell and scream at you, and draw your attention to the fact that you’d better spend your precious time somewhere else.

Then there is the type of web page that plays some sound effect the moment you arrive. Either it is a piece of music (always just the kind you hate!) or a recorded sales pitch.

Oh yes, then there is the Blinking Text… which blinks at frantic pace, just right to trigger an epileptic seizure.

One of my websites is called “The Hosting Finder”. Primarily, it offers some reviews of carefully selected web hosting companies. I am not selling anything on this website, and so I do not feel it would be appropriate to use a hard-selling jargon in my introductory headline. Right now, it reads:

“Finding a Web Hosting Provider That Will Take Good Care of Your Precious Web Pages … Can Be Confusing“

(I then explain how I researched the web to find good hosting services based on un-biased customer ratings rather than hype.)

Recently, a marketing consultant offered to look at this website and give me some feedback at no cost. I accepted, and after checking my landing page he declared the headline to be “generic and bland”. Instead, he suggested the following:

“Want An Objective ‘Client Feedback’ Guide To Help You Find A 100% Trustworthy, Inexpensive, And Complete Web Hosting Service Provider (Based On Survey Results, Not Marketing Propaganda) — With All The Options You Need To Run Your Web Site Smoothly And Successfully?

Avoid The Hosting Nightmare Of Trying To Keep Your Site Live And Running Smoothly… Stop Wasting Time And Money In Costly Bad Service“

In my reply, I thanked him for his trouble. I also pointed out that this flood of words might not be the optimal way of building confidence in my integrity as the provider of impartial reviews on web hosting.

Maybe I am wrong, who knows. Perhaps I should start yelling and screaming just like everybody else? But I just don’t like the idea of doing that. I’d rather hypnotize people into reading my texts. Some marketing gurus advocate this approach. Here are a few examples of how you’re supposed to hypnotize people:

1. As you keep reading this ad copy, you are feeling more and more compelled to experience all the benefits of our product.

2. The more you understand just how valuable our product could be to your life, the less you think about delaying this important purchase.

3. After you read this short ad you will feel like your problems are almost completely solved, all you will have to do is order.

Well, don’t you feel compelled to reach for your wallet right now?! These examples are not intended as a joke; they are seriously trying to persuade people. And maybe they are, although I personally find them more amusing than hypnotizing. - I’ll make a pause here; I just feel I have to go out and buy something!

OK, I am back. Time to finish this little essay on how to get attention. Oh, you have read this far? So I have managed to keep your attention then! I did it by … no, I won’t give my secret away. You’ll have to read my Special Report, which I’m selling for ONLY $97. But hurry, this exclusive limited special offer is expiring, and will always expire, at midnight; whatever day you happen to read this!

Kai Virihaur is a researcher, web developer, and artist. He runs The Hosting Finder ( http://www.thehostingfinder.com ), a web hosting directory featuring articles and RSS feeds on web development, website promotion, and online marketing.

The article may be used freely as long as this resource box, with intact hyperlink, is included.

Hard Rock Country

Writen by Leeuna Foster

“Sometimes, there just aren’t enough rocks” Forrest said to Jennie.

Well, Forrest should have sent Jennie to my house where rocks mate and produce offspring faster than my husband and his shiny new lawnmower can get rid of them. Just when I think there is not another rock left on the planet, Hubby finds a brand new family of them hiding in the grass like hornets. Each time I think he has mowed over and slung the last surviving rock into the next county, he discovers a new batch. The man has never met a lawnmower he couldn’t destroy. So far in the eight years we’ve been married, he has managed to completely demolish nine lawnmowers of his own and the one he borrowed from our neighbor. With his patronage alone, the owners of Mowers-R-Us have been able to put all six of their kids through college.

Not to mention his contribution to the lumber industry. Our neighborhood resembles a town along the gulf coast during hurricane season. At the first sign of Spring, when mowing season begins, the neighbors immediately begin nailing plywood over their windows. Reports of Hubby’s intent to mow are announced on the six o’clock news. Sometimes they interrupt the regularly scheduled programing for a lawnmower alert. The local weather forecast goes something like this: “Expect partly cloudy skies this evening, with a twenty percent chance of rain by morning. Northwest winds 10 mph or less. Temperatures will be in the low to mid sixties and Mr. Hubby will be mowing his lawn this evening. We strongly urge all the folks in that area to be on the alert. At the first sound of a lawnmower, seek shelter in a basement or a closet. Stay tuned to this station in the event of an emergency evacuation.”

These aren’t all little tiny pebbles either; most of them are full grown rocks. And hubby never misses a single one. He manages to hit each rock at least twice. Once on the forward sweep and again on the backward drag. They pepper the house in a musical rhythm reminding me of that old 60s tune called ‘Wipe Out’. Add in a little fife music and it would sound like a regiment of Civil War soldiers marching through the neighborhood. On the few times I go outside to help him, I wear goggles and a helmet. Listen, I might look dumb walking around in hundred-degree temperatures wearing this garb, but I learned my lesson after the first three trips to the ER for stitches. I still suffer from brain damage.

The county elected to put up a big yellow caution sign near the house with an arrow pointing toward our yard with lights flashing the words: HUBBY MOWING. No one will drive by the house when the caution light is on except the Wells Fargo truck or someone driving a tank. Terrified parents rush outside and drag their children to safety. The dogs cower under the front porch and the cattle kneel in the fields in an attempt to dodge the sparks and the rocks flying from beneath the wheels of the roaring machine pushed by a madman with no shirt at a speed of thirty-five miles per hour.

When it’s finally safe to go outside again, I walk around the house and survey the carnage. I count the broken windows and the holes in the siding. The house looks like the aftermath of a drive-by shooting, or like it’s been attacked by Zorro with an AK47 instead of a sword. I point out the shattered panes in the bay window. Hubby shrugs and reminds me that the window needed replacing anyway…after all it’s three month old. I just smile and nod. He assures me he will pick up a replacement window on his way to get a new lawnmower.

I heave a sigh of relief that mowing season will soon be over. Then I remember the leaf blower he bought last winter. I run to the garage and read the operating instructions on the box. It reads: Precauci

W. Keleher: A Multifaceted Individual

Writen by William Keleher

William Aloysius Keleher was a multifaceted individual. No, it is no exaggeration, not an over-stretched truth either. It is a completely unadulterated fact. Why would one say that? That is because Mr. Keleher was a unique person who stood out among many with his exceptional work and achievement. The way he struggled his way out to success and fame is truly remarkable. In this article, readers will re-discover the multifaceted William A. Keleher.

Born in Lawrence (Kansas) in 1886, William Aloysius Keleher resided in Albuquerque (New Mexico) from his early childhood where his family (David and Mary Ann Keleher) moved in 1889. He studied in Saint Mary’s Parochial School for some time but ironically, he had to put a brake to studying at one stage. It was the year of 1900 when his family could no longer support his education expenses. The magnanimous juvenile chose to work in order to help his family survive the difficult times. William Keleher’s first job ever was that of a messenger. He worked for the prestigious Western Union Telegraph Company. Thanks to his skills and hard-work, he was promoted to telegraph operator from counter clerk in fairly quick time. However, he was always looking to do new things. As a result, he worked in different places for a short time, most notably the Board of Education and BlueWater Development Company. He even managed to attract local newspapermen with his exceptionally good writing skills who appointed him as a reporter in the year of 1908. Furthermore, he got a writing job in Albuquerque Evening Herald and Albuquerque Journal.

It was during this time that he showed a newfound interest in law while observing contemporary events at a country courthouse. Within five years, he joined the Washington and Lee University’s law school and successfully graduated within two years in 1915. He wasted almost no time to start practicing law in the New Mexico Bar. Shortly after that, he went back to Albuquerque to work as the city attorney. Afterwards, he joined a legal practice with G. Downer which did not last too long. In 1931, he founded a law firm with A. Howard McLeod which was named ‘Keleher & McLeod’. This firm, even after more than ninety years, continues to serve its clients successfully. Today, it is perceived as one of the most prestigious law firms in New Mexico. Keleher also worked as the city editor for the two magazines he previously worked for.

The versatile individual did not stop just there. He was an active citizen of New Mexico and acted as the chairman of its Democratic State Central Committee. The State Board of Finance also got his service for seventeen years. Mr. Keleher acted as a conservator for the first Albuquerque national bank when it was in dire straits. He was also involved in preparing the “MECHEM-KELEHER” report in the year of 1933 which convinced the government to start negotiating with the coal field labors after a strike of great magnitude.

Keleher was the legal counsel for the New Mexico Public Service Company and the director of Equitable Life Assurance Society. His contribution to the New Mexico College of Agriculture and Mechanic Arts (now known as the New Mexico State University), the Old Lincoln County Memorial Commission and the Museum of New Mexico also signifies his pro-active character.

This article will be incomplete if it does not mention the other side of William A. Keleher - the writer persona. Keleher always had a knack for writing and he first showed it as a newspaper reporter. Years later, in 1942, his first book (The Maxwell Land Grant) came out. Following that, he wrote great books like The Fabulous Frontier, Turmoil in New Mexico, Violence in Lincoln Country, New Mexicans I Knew, and Memoirs. It should be mentioned that he always kept a balance between the author life and lawyer life, giving adequate time to both. As a result, William A. Keleher not only succeeded as a great lawyer, but also excelled as an effective writer.

This multi-talented individual passed away in 1972 but he is still remembered today for his outstanding achievements. He was truly a man of unique traits.

Growing Up In a Small Country Town.

Writen by Lenore Chapman

Growing up in a small town had it’s ups and downs. But oh, how I miss it.

The town was small, so small that you knew everyone who lived there. It was nice cause we had our own little community.

There were no major stores there. Only a small store that you could buy bread and milk, that is, if you were there early in the morning, candy, pop, and small things like that. They also had the old soda fountain with the bar that you could sit at and drink your pop. Something you don’t see very often now a days. In the summer you could buy tomatoes, potatoes and corn on the cob fresh from the garden. They did have some small stuff for the house but not much. We use to love to go up there with our pennies. You could buy candy back then, 2 for a penny. And the bubble gum machine that had the specks on certain gum balls. If you got that, you got ten cents worth of candy free. Oh the pennies I would put in that machine. I thought that was great. Gum and free candy on top of that. Remember when you could buy a candy bar, and I am talking one bigger than you buy now and it was only five cents. A pack of cigarettes was thirty two cents. Well the owners of the store retired. Which, when I was growing up I thought they should have been retired many years before that. Their kids didn’t want to continue to run the store, they wanted to go to the city to live.

We also had a post-office that was in the front room of a lady’s house. We would go in there and look in the glass window and see if there was anything in our box. I use to get mad when they would tell me what was in my mailbox before she would even give it to me. Like I said everybody knew everybody and knew everyone’s business. If you wanted to know anything, just go to the post office. You found out what was going on in your town without even asking.

Then we had the old school house. I only went there for first, second and third grade. The building was getting bad and they decided to bus us out of town. The school only had four very large room, with a cloak room between the rooms. Two rooms were on the first floor and two rooms upstairs. First and second grade was in one room……Right side first grade and left side second grade. Second room had third and fourth grade and upstairs was fifth and sixth in one room and seventh and eighth in the other. The other grades were bused out. Each room was heated with a pot belly stove. Reminds me of the old cowboy movies. Back then, they didn’t have kindergarten, either it wasn’t thought of then, or they just didn’t have enough room for them. It was a great school. We had recess in the morning and afternoon and walked home for lunch. Which kids don’t do now a days. We had one teacher for two grades. So you really got to know her. It was a sad time when they closed the school, and scary to ride a school bus to school. And no more going home at lunchtime.

We had a lot of neighbors who put in big gardens and sell their produce. I remember going down to one guys house and buying tomatoes. I would tell him I need fifty cents worth of tomatoes. I would be carrying a large bag of tomatoes home. What we pay five dollars for today would probably cost us thirty cents back then. I don’t know if everyone got that many or if he was just being generous cause there were so many in our family and fifty cents worth wasn’t many. He sure did give us a lot. Corn on the cob…..I would buy a dozen and he would always throw in some extra. What a guy.

Everyone looked out for everyone back then. Now a days no one wants to get involved. Oh and did I mention getting in trouble. You think no one sees you until you get back home. Like the time I was on my way to a friends house and walked down the middle of the train tracks. Wow did I get my butt warmed up when I got back home. That was a no no. Trains ran pretty fast back then.

And the time I was caught smoking walking up the road. There were eyes everywhere, even if you couldn’t see them. I remember the time my sister and I would buy a pack of cigarettes. At the time I had a pack and she didn’t. She wanted some and I wouldn’t give any to her. Well, I was out walking and lit up a cigarette, bang, lit another one, bang, the little brat loaded half of my pack with the cigarette loads. Talk about mad. But who could I tell. I wasn’t suppose to be smoking, I was only about 13 or 14 at the time. But sooner or later I did get even with her. I could never find her cigarettes to get even. Here years later I found a hard back book in the closet, opened it and in the middle of the pages, she cut out a hole as big as a pack of cigarettes. What a smart idea. Of course, mom didn’t find it until she was grown and on her own.

I could go on and on about living in the little country town but I am running out of steam.. If you ever lived in a small country town when you were growing up then you can probably relate to this, if not then you don’t know what you have missed.

Lenores world

Soccer Brothers

Writen by Kadence Buchanan

Do you remember the famous movie of the early 80s “the Blues Brothers” with Dan Aykroyd and the late John Belushi. The two heroes were able to overcome all the obstacles in their way and to avoid their pursuers until the last scene of the film. “They’ll never get caught. They’re on a mission from God” was the tagline of the film. The current Brazilian national soccer team, which plays at the World Cup in Germany, reminded me of the Blues Brothers. Although they prefer samba music to blues, they seem to be unstoppable and although they are not on a mission from God their religiosity is obvious.

The Brazilian players often pray and some of them wear T-shirts with religious slogans under their uniforms. Lucio, one of the team’s best defenders was wearing a T-shirt with the message

Lawyer Jokes

Writen by Gerard Simington

It is often said that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you need to lighten up. In the case of lawyer jokes, you might be surprised that many lawyers find them funny as well.

Lawyer Jokes

When it comes to jokes, many suggest there is always a grain of truth in the joke. This may or many not be the case, but lawyer jokes certainly highlight the shadier characters in the business. Here are a few to make you grin.

1. A law student passes the bar examination and becomes licensed to practice law. He rents out a small office and goes about making the necessary calls to get everything turned on. As he is sitting in his office on the second day, he starts thinking that he needs to look like he is busy instead of a new lawyer. At just that moment, there is a knock on his door. The new attorney grabs his phone and begins talking in it as though he has a client. The door opens and he puts his hand of the phone and asks the man he is on an important call, but what does he need.

The man says, “Uh, I am here to turn on your phone.”

2. A lawyer goes in for serious and complicated surgery. He wakes up in a recovery room and is groggy. He notices the blinds are closed and the room is fairly dark. He asks the nurse why the blinds are closed and she says.

“There was a fire next door and we didn’t want you to think you had died when you woke up.”

3. Why don’t sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy.

4. Why did the good Lord make rats before he made the first attorney? Hey, everyone needs practice.

5. What do you get when you cross a mobster with an attorney? An offer you can’t understand, but definitely agree to.

6. What do you call a lawyer that is a bit slow on the uptake? Your Honor.

7. What do unsuccessful lawyers become when they fail at law? Senators.

8. What is 2 + 2 to a lawyer? For $5,000, it can be whatever you want.

9. A plaintiff swears an oath before testifying in a civil case seeking damages in the amount of $1,000,000. She is asked if she understands what happens if she lies after swearing the oath to tell the truth. She look at the judge and says, “I win!”

Perhaps the funniest anecdotes about the law are the true ones.

A judge in Alabama was placed on suspension after jailing a young mother because she could not recall the address of her home when he asked her.