Cartoon Penguins

Writen by Peter Emerson

Penguins - who wouldn’t be able to recognize their distinctive black and white, tux-like plumage, their peculiar upright stance, and often humorous waddling gait? Penguins have captivated the interest of many people all over the world. They are simply one of the most familiar birds, even though most people have had no opportunity to observe the penguin while in its native habitat. The penguin has also found its way into our popular culture notably in film, comics, and cartoons.

Penguins are usually depicted as cute and comical characters in cartoons and comics. The unique black-and-white plumage is likened to a tuxedo, which is why many people joke that the penguin is “well-dressed.” However, some fictional penguins are also sometimes depicted as grumpy or even sinister. For instance, Badtz Maru, a cartoon from Sanrio, is presented as a cute, but bad-tempered penguin. In the 1960s, the title character of Tennessee and His Tales was a penguin that frequently escaped from the zoo with his walrus friend and often found trouble in the outside world.

Perhaps the most famous non-bird penguin of all was the Penguin, a villain introduced in DC Comic’s Batman. Many cartoons and comics also poke fun at the penguin’s physical characteristics and its inability to fly. Humorous comics sometimes depict penguins in various amusing situations. Other representations of penguins in popular culture include the Linux mascot, Tux, several penguin characters in video games, and cartoons.

In these cartoons, the distinct physical characteristics of the penguin are usually emphasized, often with humorous results. Some cartoons feature interactions between penguins and polar bears, which is a misconception since the two animals are found on opposite hemispheres: penguins are found in the southern hemisphere while polar bears are native to the northern hemisphere. All over the world, penguins continue to fascinate people with their distinct traits and behavior.

Can Anyone Learn to be Funny?

Writen by Andrew Bates

Probably the single greatest asset which anyone can ever have in conversations is the ability to make other people laugh.

Whether you are asking your boss for a raise, talking to someone who you like, or just trying to be the popular person who everyone wants to be around, you will get light years ahead if only you can make them laugh.

An interesting, but little known fact is that laughter is a response which is a subconscious way of saying to someone else “I want to bond with you”. Is it any wonder that countless surveys have shown that the number one desired characteristic in the opposite sex, for both sexes, is a sense of humour.

But can someone actually learn to be funny? Do you have to be born with a particular natural talent for humour, which if you don’t have, there’s no chance for you? Are some people permanently condemned to a lifetime of boredom and unpopularity, never able to hold their own in a conversation, while the ‘natural funny guys’ effortlessly take the approval of everyone present? Is there a secret to being funny?

Many naturally funny people, even most stand-up comedians, will tell you that humour “just comes” and that is the only way it can be ever be produced. If you don’t possess a natural sense of humour, you will never be funny.

But is this true?

Imagine for a moment, being able to make anyone laugh at will. No matter what the situation, just being able to turn anything into a well-crafted, make-everyone-laugh joke. Always be able to insert that killer funny line into any conversation. What could you achieve with this ability which outshines even the ‘naturals’? How easy would conversations be from now on? How much would your confidence improve knowing you will always carry around with you the effortless secret of powerful humour?

But is this possible? Can humour actually ‘be learnt’?

I want you for a moment to think back to your school days when you had to learn that subject which everyone loved called - mathematics. Now, some people found mathematics quite easy and picked it up quite fast, while others didn’t take to it as good and plodded along kinda slowly. There are ‘naturals’ at mathematics too. But in the end, everyone actually learnt to do mathematics. Everyone actually learnt to be able to do addition and subtraction quite easily. The heavier stuff maybe not everyone got, but it soon became obvious that even those who at first had trouble, with a bit of study and a bit of work, it was possible for anyone to be able to develop the ability to ‘do mathematics’.

So what exactly is going on here? Well, mathematics is primarily a left-brain activity. Now some people are naturally ‘left-brained’ people and so have an advantage at left-brained things like mathematics. However, even those who aren’t ‘left-brained’ people can still exercise that part of their brain and develop it to any level they choose. It just takes a little bit more work. The same is true for humour. Humour is primarily a right-brain activity. Some people may not be naturally ‘right-brained’ people, but they can still develop this part of their brain. So who then can learn humour?

Anyone who has ever laughed at a joke can learn to be funny!

That’s just about everyone right? Okay, sounds great, but how do I learn to be funny? Well, how did you learn to do mathematics? First you were given a formula, then you practiced using it over and over again. It was hard at first - you really had to think. But after doing heaps of problems, it was easy. You could do it in your sleep. It is the same with humour.

So what is the formula to being funny?

Make yourself comfortable here because I am about to share with you the secret to all humour.

The human brain operates by continuously looking for patterns. It does this so that it can constantly predict the outcome of a situation. When a story is began, the brain immediately finds a familiar pattern to associate it to, so that it can predict where it is going. But when this pattern is disrupted and a connection is suddenly made to an entirely new and unexpected pattern, laughter occurs as this new connection is made.

Okay, that’s a bit heavy. How does it actually work?

Well lets take an example.

“Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.”

A bit of an old classic, but it clearly demonstrates what we are talking about. The first part of this line - the setup - creates a mental pattern which makes you think a certain way. If we just left it here, you would be thinking I am trying to tell you to be slow to criticise someone and first try to understand them. Now I haven’t actually said this, but the mental pattern predicts this outcome. However, when I drop the second part - the punch line - all of a sudden this first pattern is interrupted and a connection is made to an entirely new, unexpected pattern. Now I am telling you to make sure you can get away with it and have the advantage. The important thing is though, that there is still a connection between the first part and the second part - it still makes sense. It is just not what you first expected. The first pattern has been disrupted. This is how all humour is created.

So how can I use that to be funny?

First create a setup. You say something which has an implied outcome. “I would love to tell you just what a great job you are doing”

The implied outcome is that I like the job this person is doing and I am complimenting them. But then I slam ‘em with the punch line. “But I don’t want to ruin my honest reputation.”

Okay, not quite the outcome expected, but it still makes sense. This is humour.

All this might seem like a complicated process, but this is the formula for making people laugh. Remember the first time you were given a mathematics formula to play around with? It was long and complicated at first, but with a bit of practice it soon became easy. If you use this formula to create lots of jokes, very soon it will be automatic. You will have trained your mind to instantly create humour on command. You will have learnt to be funny.

What I have just shared with you is the basic formula to be funny on command. The number one resource which I recommend to supercharge your humour to incredible heights in as little as seven days is an e-book called “How to be FUNNY!” written by Stanley Lyndon. This not only takes you step by step how to create humour but also gives a wealth of techniques you can instantly use to maximise your humour to gut-tearing proportions! You can get this unbelievable e-book by going here.

http://comedy-secrets.blogspot.com

Finally! An e-book which takes you step by step to being paralisingly funny in just 7 days flat! Never be boring in conversation again! Create killer humour effortlessly and at will! http://comedy-secrets.blogspot.com

Inspiration for Teachers: 8 Universal Laws

Writen by Jeff Herring

The Law of the Future

I realize this is a bumper sticker cliche, but it doesn’t make it any less true. You really do “touch the future” with your students.

The Law of the One

Most people can remember the one or two teachers who believed in and took a special interest in them. For many of us, these special teachers made a tremendous difference in our lives. Might you be “the one” this year?

The Law of Learning

Whatever subject you teach, if you can foster a love of learning in your students, you have done more than perform your job well.

The Law of the Three P’s

Politics: In teaching, as in any other profession, there are politics. You don’t have to be an integral part of all of it. You do need to be aware of it, however.

Paperwork: Many teachers complain about the overwhelming amount of paperwork that keeps coming at them each year. I’m certainly no fan of paper work. The most important thing is to not let the first two Ps interfere with the third P.

Passion: When you bring a sense of passion to what you do inthe classroom, it will spread to your students. Not to all of them, of course. But enough of them will pick up on and catch your passion to make a huge difference.

The Law of the Role

Too many times, I hear someone say, “I’m just a teacher.” Stop right there. You are so much more. Instead of concentrating on your job title, focus instead on your role. You are so much more. You are a: Counselor - Confidant -Influencer - Future-shaper - Preparer of minds - Future changer - and much more.

The Law of a Difference

All the roles listed above, and many others, contribute to you making a difference in the lives of your students. It was said best by a few lines on a framed picture my lovely wife Lauren gave me:

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove … but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

The Law of the Visit

If you are one of the folks who have been truly blessed by “the visit,” you’ll be able to relate to how powerful this is.

It may come in the form of a phone call, e-mail, letter or actual visit. It’s when one of your former students comes back and lets you know what a difference you made in his or her life. It may not even be something you remember saying, but the former student does because it made a difference. It can make your day or even your year, and reminds you why you are doing what you are doing.

The Law of the Starfish

Later this year, if you find yourself overwhelmed, stressed out and just tired of it all, you may wonder if you’re making any difference at all. Save this story for those times.

A man was walking down the beach one day and came across hundreds of tiny starfish that had washed up on shore. He immediately began to pick up as many as he could and throw them back in the ocean. He repeated this over and over, until another man walked up and asked him what he was doing.

“Isn’t it obvious,” said the man. “All these starfish will die if we don’t get them back in the water. Please help me.”

The second man replied, “What’s the use, you’ll never be able to get them all back in the water. So what difference does it make?”

The man bent down, picked up just one starfish, and tossing it back into the water said,

“It makes a difference to this one.”

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

I Think Elliot Spitzer might be the Devil?

Writen by Lance Winslow

You what I like about America? Well, I am allowed to have an opinion and it is wonderful to consider this and even better to speak my mind. So, I will. I really think that Elliot Spitzer might be the Devil. In fact I would bet on it, he even kind of looks like what I think a Devil is suppose to look like. So, has Satan returned to earth? Is Elliot Spitzer the big bad red devil himself? Should Satan worshipers all over the world be hailing one Elliot Spitzer?

You know there is a Satanic Church or two in New York, so I ask you will they take Elliot Spitzer as their savior and worship him? Will they walk prescints when he runs for New York Governor? It will be interesting to see exactly who is on his campaign won’t it, especially when the New York Governor’s elections comes around and Elliot Spitzer throws his hat, I mean three headed spear into the ring? But beware, the devil does not fight fair.

If Elliot Spitzer gets into office and if he really is the devil, which is my opinion then what can the fine citizens of New York expect once he takes over Gotham City? Will he more resemble the Joker, Riddler or some other dastardly cartoon character or is he really already there and the Governorship will only make it official? Consider all this in 2006.

Lance Winslow

Manipulative Words of Equal Meaning

Writen by Norton Nowlin

Many words mean the same thing and may be used synonymously in context to make ideas and concepts clear in the process of standard writing. Some synonyms, however, may be used euphemistically to manipulate a reaction of the reader or listener to the context of a statement. Take the word “lie” for instance. The dictionary definition of the word lie is, “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive.” In the year 2003, the definitional use of the word “lie” became ambiguous when applied to the statements made by President George W. Bush and Vice-President Richard Cheney regarding the imminent danger posed by Iraqi weapons of mass destruction to the United States.

We now know that Iraq did not possess weapons of mass destruction in the months leading up to the Iraqi invasion, nor did the country pose a grave danger to American security. According to the Downing Street Memo, which has been systematically downplayed by the media and ignored by Congress, there is undeniable proof of collusion and conspiracy by the Blair and Bush administrations, months prior to the Iraqi invasion, to deliberately deceive the American and British people into supporting the pending war. Nevertheless, the use of the word “lie” by the media, to apply to the conduct of the Bush Administration, was somehow not deemed proper.

They instead used the word “prevaricate,” which means “to speak falsely, misleadingly, or so as to avoid the truth; deliberately misstate; equivocate; lie.” Though the two words appear to be identical in definition, prevaricate doesn’t carry the same blunt ring of accusation conveyed by using the word “lie.” But is there any real difference? If I said that Peter took the money from an old man without permission, with the intention of keeping it, I might also correctly say that Peter stole the money. Moreover, if I said that Peter took the money and then denied doing it, I could also equivalently say that Peter lied about taking the money. What if I said, instead, that Peter took the money and then prevaricated about doing it? What would be the difference between my two statements? Would the use of the word “prevaricate” change the circumstances or mitigate the act of Peter denying that he stole the money? I think not.

A double standard has always been widely used when considering the conduct of kings, presidents, and prime ministers as opposed to the ordinary people of a nation-state. And the misuse of words and colloquial expressions has commonly been the means whereby the double standard has been applied. This is because kings, emperors, and other monarchs were historically considered sources of law, so they were also rendered as sacrosanct and considered incapable by the people of committing crimes.

If, for example, a divine-right king or emperor had provided the means for his close associates to evade interrogation during an investigation into crimes against the state, would the ruler have been culpable of obstruction of justice? In an historical reference, perhaps not. If the ruler claimed sovereign immunity to be able to commit acts, ordinarily considered crimes, with total impunity, which many kings did, the ruler had an out. Then how about an elected president or prime minister in a contemporary system of laws where everyone in the state are equally charged to obey the law? Equal protection under the law and equal liability for violating the law sound good when legislated as general principles. But by saying that presidents, prime ministers, and ordinary citizens are equal before the law, strict application and enforcement of guiding constitutional principles are ultimately necessary as proof that all people are judged equally in a nation of laws.

So has strict application and enforcement of criminal law been the case in the United States with regard to our Presidents, Vice-Presidents, U.S. Representatives, and U.S. Senators, and all other civil officers in accordance with Article 1, Section 3 and Article 2, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution? Of the “infamous” sixteen federal civil officers impeached since 1789, only one senator, William Blount, was formally investigated in 1799 for high crimes, but was not convicted because, of all things, the Senate declared that it did not have the jurisdiction to try one of their own, which was constitutionally incorrect. The two Presidents on the list, Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton, were impeached but acquitted of their charges. Of the nine federal judges impeached, six of them were tried, convicted, and removed from office. Three were acquitted. The one Supreme Court justice impeached, Samuel Chase, was acquitted in 1805. No Vice-President has ever been impeached.

Does the foregoing disciplinary record say anything about double standards occurring in the federal criminal justice system? Is it possible that if each aforementioned impeachment acquittal was closely examined in retrospect by an honest county prosecutor, in strict accordance with federal law, would political skullduggery and Machiavellian compromise be found as expedient bases for the adjudged innocence? One prominent senator majority leader once publicly said that trying Presidents and senators for petty criminal offenses is a waste of the Congress’ precious time.

The sanitized Congressional Record didn’t reflect any opposition to this senator’s statement on the Senate floor, so I suppose there were ninety-nine other senators who agreed with him. Perhaps if Richard Nixon had been tried by the Senate for the list of crimes with which he was charged, he would have also been acquitted. Perhaps not. But we do know that Gerald Ford pardoned him before he could be indicted by the Justice Department after resigning from the Presidency.

How about the Presidents, besides Nixon, who got away with committing high crimes while in office definitely like James K. Polk, Warren G. Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, and, possibly, Ronald Reagon and George H. Bush. What did Polk do? He lied to Congress about who started the fight with Mexico in 1848 in order to get a declaration of war against Mexico for the sake of Manifest Destiny. It was Gen. Zachary Taylor who actually started the Mexican War by having one of his soldiers shoot and kill (murder?) a Mexican cavalryman from across the Rio Grande River. Over two-thousand people, both Mexican and American, were killed in that unjust war.

Those Americans who have studied history know about the Teapot Dome Scandal and the acclaimed ignorance of President Warren G. Harding as to the money laundering that occurred between Harding’s Secretary of the Interior, Albert B. Fall, and an oil operator, Henry F. Sinclair. Several people got rich in the illegal exchange of money, but Harding claimed he didn’t know anything about what was going on. Fall was the only federal officer tried and convicted for the high crime of conspiracy and grand theft. Perhaps, in addition to being considered a failure as a President, Harding should have been impeached and tried by the Senate for presiding over the Teapot Dome Scandal and not doing anything about it.

According to meticulous historical research conducted by Dr. Charles Tansill, Distinguished Professor of Diplomatic History at Georgetown University who wrote “Back Door to War: Roosevelt Foreign Policy, 1933-1941,” John Toland, distinguished writer, historian, and author of “Infamy,” George Morgenstern, a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of the University of Chicago who served as a captain in the U.S. Marine Corps and wrote the book, “Pearl Harbor: The Story of the Secret War,” published in 1947, Charles A. Beard, noted historian and author of “President Roosevelt and the Coming of the War, 1941: A Study in appearances and Realities,” and Frederick R. Sanborn, historical writer and author of “Design for War: A Study of Secret Politics, 1937-1941,” Franklin D. Roosevelt covertly planned for the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor and knew, at least 48 hours in advance, that the Japanese Fleet were going to devastate the vulnerable U.S. Naval Fleet. Because of the many secret documents and records kept from the purview of the Blue Ribbon Pearl Harbor Commission by U.S. Army Intelligence operatives, the commission was not able to ferret out the facts and the disturbing truth about Pearl Harbor and the American entry in World War II.

It wasn’t until the late 1940’s that documents were released by Harry Truman which showed that FDR conducted secret negotiations with Winston Churchill, from 1939 to late 1940, assuring the British prime minister that America would enter the war against Hitler. In knowing that Franklin Delano Roosevelt had knowledge sufficient to warn the Pearl Harbor Naval Command well in advance of the impending Japanese attack, but, instead, ordered his War Department staff to allow the surprise attack to occur, there is no alternative but to call Roosevelt a war criminal who deceived the Congress and the American people. If Congress had known about Roosevelt’s secret negotiations with Churchill and his covert underhanded foreign policy with Japan, there is no doubt that the President would have been impeached for high crimes. Being a cripple and the purported American economic savior do not, in any way, mitigate FDR’s cold calculated strategy to manipulate a neutral nation into world war.

How may less incriminating words be used to euphemize the unnecessary deaths of over 3,000 American GI’s at Pearl Harbor? Isn’t that what the Nazi leaders attempted to do in their defense at the Nuremberg Trials to justify the murder of millions of innocent people? The Iran-Contra Scandal involving Ronald Reagon and George H. Bush was also a play on words. Oliver North deliberately lied to Congress and became a popular folk hero from doing it. In response to allegations, Reagon shrugged his shoulders and simply said, “I don’t remember what happened,” and he was exonerated of all blame. Vice-President George H. Bush, former director of the CIA, testified before Congress that he was out of the loop while the sale of arms for money to support an illegal CIA war operation in El Salvador and Honduras was going on. And no one questioned his veracity. Strangely, he was believed and the investigation into Iran-Contra was halted.

You don’t have to be a conspiracy nut to read between the lines and discover that contemporary American history reveals some startling facts about corrupt political behavior. Illegal agreements between federal officers to commit acts which are against the law and of the land and the interests of the people are called criminal conspiracies. In a nation of laws, criminal government conspiracies cannot be endorsed, tolerated, or ignored. Similarly, words of equal meaning cannot be used to lessen the severity of criminal acts committed by supposedly honorable public servants. When this happens, the darkest of evil may triumph under the guise of pseudonyms and aliases.

Norton R. Nowlin holds M.A. and B.A. degrees from the University of Texas at Tyler, an advanced paralegal certification, with honors, from Edmonds Community College, in Lynnwood, Washington, and one year of law school from Thomas Jefferson School of Law, in San Diego, California. In addition to the foregoing academic attainments, Mr. Nowlin has earned 70 post-graduate semester hours in economics, history, sociology, and business from Pepperdine and National Universities. In 1985, Mr. Nowlin successfully completed the 72nd San Diego County Sheriff’s Academy, at Southwestern College in Chula Vista, California, as a San Diego County Deputy Sheriff. Mr. Nowlin is presently a paralegal specialist for the Board of Veteran’s Appeals in the Office of Veteran’s Affairs, in Washington, D.C., and the father of the three grown children. He is married to the physicist, mathematician, and professional tutor, Diane C. Nowlin. Mr. Nowlin resides with his wife and two very intelligent cats in Gaithersburg, Maryland.

A Short Biography on Some of Europe’s Most Loved and Hated Monarchs - Pt 4 Queen Mary I

Writen by Stuart Bazga

Queen Mary I of England was born in 1516 to Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon and was the first British monarch to rule in her own right. Mary was pronounced queen in 1553 and ruled for five years after the death of Edward VI. Mary was well educated and learned to speak Latin, Spanish, French and Italian. She was also taught Greek, science and music.

1547 saw the death of her father and her half brother Edward VI crowned king. Edward was England’s first Protestant monarch; his Parliament’s Act of Uniformity prescribed Protestant rites for church services. Mary, wanting to keep her Roman Catholic faith, asked to be allowed to worship in private in her own chapel. Upon being ordered to discontinue this practice, Mary appealed to her cousin, the Emperor Charles V. Charles subsequently threatened to declare war against England if Mary’s religious rights were infringed. Mary was never bothered again and was left to worship in private.

Edward died in 1553 whilst Mary was staying at Framlingham Castle in Suffolk. He had no wish for the Crown to go to either Mary or her half sister Elizabeth, so had them both excluded from the line of succession in his will.

One of Mary’s first acts after came to power, was to bring the Catholic faith back to England by initially scrapping the religious proclamations of her half brother, Edward VI. Mary replaced the proclamations with the old English laws. Heresy against the church was now punishable by death. The reintroduction of this act earned Mary the nickname, “Bloody Mary”. During her short, five-year reign, Queen Mary I had more than 300 subjects burnt at the stake for the act of heresy. The most notable of these was the Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer.

In 1555, in an effort to produce a male heir, Mary married prince Philip II of Spain. This did not go down well with the people, as many viewed Spain as an enemy of England. Twice during her rule, Mary thought she was pregnant with child, displaying all the symptoms. Alas, this was not so as her symptoms were a sign of a false pregnancy. Mary had convinced herself that she was pregnant and the body reacted accordingly.

Following the advice of her husband, Mary allied herself with Spain during the war against France. The subsequent consequences of her actions were that England lost her only and last remaining foothold in the country - Calais. Sadly, in 1558, Philip II left her and went back to Spain to claim the Spanish throne.

Queen Mary I, childless and without a husband was forced to recognize her sister, Elizabeth, an Anglican Protestant, as the next ruler of England. Although Mary tried to persuade her sister to convert and accept the Roman Catholic faith, Elizabeth refused and went on to become Queen Elizabeth I.

England suffered under the leadership of Mary: the economy was in ruin, religious dissent reached its pinnacle and England lost her last foothold in Europe. Jane Austen wrote about Mary: “This woman had the good luck of being advanced to the throne of England, in spite of the superior pretensions, Merit and Beauty of her Cousins Mary Queen of Scotland and Jane Grey. Nor can I pity the Kingdom for the misfortunes they experienced during her reign, since they fully deserved them…”

Mary died at the age of forty-two of influenza, uterine cancer or ovarian cancer at St. James’s Palace on 17 November 1558 and is buried in Westminster Abbey beside Elizabeth. The Latin inscription on their tomb translates to “Partners both in Throne and grave, here rest we two sisters, Elizabeth and Mary, in the hope of one resurrection”.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about Queen Mary I.

In my next article will learn about the life of Charles II of England.

Until then,

Best wishes and have a great day

Stuart Bazga

www.guide-to-castles-of-europe.com

A Guide to Castles of Europe was born from childhood dreams and aspirations. It is my hope to educate and stimulate you into exploring these castles for yourselves.

Carly Patterson: What Makes A Champion?

Writen by Murray Hughes

If you have been following gymnastics for any length of time, odds are you have heard of a particular gymnast by the name of Carly Patterson. You probably also know that she is one of the youngest female Olympic gymnasts ever - and that she has stunned the world of late with her astounding abilities. In 2004, she became the first all-around Olympic champion for the United States in more than two decades, and was also the first to win for the US in the past two games, an amazing feat indeed, considering these past Olympic games were fully attended! The last female all-around gymnastics champion for the United States won in 1984, when the Soviet Union had boycotted the Olympics entirely.

Carly was born on February the fourth, 1988, in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to a pair of loving parents - her mother, Natalie, and her father, Ricky. She is the first of a pair of girls (her younger sister is Jordan). Currently, she lives with her mother, her sister, and her pets in Allen, Texas. A straight-A student, she is almost a normal teenager when it comes to taste in music, boys, and shopping. However, one thing sets her apart from the rest of the crowd, even beyond her academics: she spends more than thirty hours a week training in her Texas academy. Of course, she could not have gotten to where she is currently without help. This logically leads to the question — what makes a champion?

Carly started early on with her gymnastics career. In 1994, she began taking classes after attending a friend’s birthday party at Gymnastics Elite, a gym facility in Baton Rouge, and meeting the head coach there. After five years of training, what began as a sport became a true career: she won her first state title in 1999 for Louisiana.

Then, she and her family moved to Texas, which gave her the chance to train at some of the best gymnastics gyms in the United States. She worked with Evgeny Marchenko and his team at the World Olympic Gymnastics Academy in Plano, Texas, and within a year completed the Top Gym Tournament in Belgium in second place, taking the bronze medal in the beam event, and won the all-around gold at the American Team Cup. Thus began her rise to super-stardom in the world of gymnastics. She took dozens of titles, national and international, competing across the globe. Then, of course, she competed in the 2004 Olympicsand the rest, as they say, is history.

Certainly, her coaches had a lot to do with her success. They gave her the practical experience needed for proper training and for the creativity she displays in her favored events. Good gymnastics schools, dedication to her work, and certainly the allure of championships kept her motivated, and as she won title after title, she improved with the help of internationally renowned teams of gymnasts. And, too, love of the sport itself inspired by her coaches and her mentors aided her to the point where she is todaybut to attribute all of her success to the work of these individuals would be erroneous without, of course, mentioning her parents.

Her mother, Natalie, and her father, Ricky, played perhaps the most important role in any young person’s life. They gave her encouragement; they were there when she needed them. This goes doubly for Miss Patterson, for they also showed confidence and interest in her gymnastics endeavors–in fact, by enrolling her in Gymnastics Elite, they gave her a good running start for motivation. It was with their help, too, that she got through some of the most difficult times of her career thus far. An injury to her elbow kept her out of several national and international championships; it was with her parents’ support that she was rehabilitated, and has now risen to become an Olympic star.

You, as a parent of a gymnast, can certainly take this to heart. You don’t have to be particularly well off to give your gymnast the confidence they need to become the best. In fact, all you have to do is encourage your child; if they show interest in the sport, let them participate. If they do well, encourage them further.

They’re already champions.

By Murray Hughes
Gymnastics Secrets Revealed “The book EVERY gymnastics parent should read”

http://www.gymnasticssecretsrevealed.com/gymnastics-articles/carly-patterson.htm

If your child is a gymnast and you enjoyed this article, you will definitely enjoy reading the zero cost, 5-day course Gymnastics Tips Course written especially for gymnastics parents by a gymnastics parent. Girls Gymnastics for Parents

Return to Eden; It Ain’t the Place You Rember It to Be, or is It?

Writen by Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin

A man approaches. A fearsome gaunt figure stands at the ready on what seems to be an innocent wooded path. A sword of fabulous light is drawn casting its perimeter into shadows. It is dusk and the man does not hesitate armored in only an Irish cable knit sweater, Lee jeans, a leather vest crafted in Pakistan, and leather sneakers. The messenger of the light beckons for him to stop or else face sudden death.

“Hey Charlie, can we stop the dramatics? We only been doing this now for, what, a little over 30,000 years?” says the man in the sweater.

“I know but it is my job, you know.” says the man with the still blazen sword.

“Can you douse that thing Rudolph. Right! I come here every ten years or so to see if I can stroll down the garden path, what do you do in the mean time? I mean Gabriel kicked us out and has posted you here ever since, Can’t do his own dirty work. Destroyer of cities and great mistakes, remember those giant chickens, I think they were called dinosaurs, well you remember it took Gabe over fifty years to kabob that lot and fricassee them. Only if the Colonel was alive.”

“Why do you go on about time, you know it does not exist for us.”

“Well I prefer it, it keeps my head straight, but to the point are you going to let me in this time!”

“Did you not just ask me that just ten minutes ago?”

“No that was ten years ago!”

“Oh right, I never got that thing right, it is a hard concept for me.”

“So you agree to time?”

“No,…!”

“Then why did you accuse me of just being here ten minutes ago, in that statement you acknowledge the existence of time or else you would not use it in your accusation?”

“I was just using it in the temporal standpoint…”

“The prefix of temp as in tempo, or temporary refers to time once more, are you a bit confused old man!”

“No, you know what I mean..”

“Just because I ate of the apple does not mean I know everything. But since time is irrevelant as you say to us, you know very well that you will eventually let me pass and everything is honky dory, so why can not that time be now. If all moments run continuous in the same space and time, why ain’t the moment you let me by not be the same as this singular moment that we both know to be all time. Including the moment you let me through, which is the same as now!”

“All right, go on pass.”

“Thanks Charlie.”

“Right, don’t mention it, say hi to Pops for me, I hope he won’t be too mad with me.”

“Hey he did tell you guys to serve me any hows, right! Remember the war and all, how that statement didn’t set well for all.”

The man in the sweater proceeded on down the dusky wood, for the right path was found. The woods emptied onto a garden path blocked by a high retaining wall with no gate.

“Sheep tricks will not work on a shepherd, now really!” the wall had a spot where an opening was cut into the wall at a forty five angle making the opening invisible to any one looking at it straight on but becomes visible as seen from an angle.

“Eden, it looks much better than Baghdad is of late. Now where is that tree?”

“Halt, who goes there. It is forbidden to all to enter, for certain death shall follow!”

“Dad, get off the soap box, it is ok to be short, leave that trick for Dorothy and her friends.”

“You spoiled little brat, how is the world of basket weaving treating you?” Says Yahweh.

“Look it ain’t basket weaving, it is synchratic weaving, making all the coincidences string togethor to lead people to certain inalienable truths that…”

“Basket weaving, when are you going to get a real job. When are you going to be the tyrant of your own universe, God knows I need a break…”

“Dad, are we going to go through this again, see I am here for that tree..”

“The tree that I forbidden you to eat from, isn’t anything sacred, with the help of that astral minded interferer, you already were duped by that woman to eat from the first tree, where is that being now any ways…”

“She is at home taking doses of Prozac, she has had a bum deal from the whole thing, man I preferred the days of Sodom and Haight ashbury, now them were some good drugs, man that shit makes me hunt out some sheep, because she is no help anymore. Can we lay up on the women for a change, or you still not talking to Best a Mom?”

“Do not mention that infernal woman’s name in my …”

“I guess that answers my question, see Pop I buried the axe a long time ago even though part of my brain says it should of been in yours, but it is over, I learned a few things from those guys down there you keep interfering with, Christ is sick of patching up your shit, man seven days was a bit of a rush job, Hey!”

“Don’t go on about that…”

“Only a C on your College boards, hey, good thing you gave those beings some intelligence, but too bad you gave them your psychosis as well, some of them are real greedy bastards. When are you going to realize that happiness does not come from how many black holes and stars that you can Nova, but from within, Best a Ma is just feeling a bit separated from you…”

“Do not mention …”

“What, Best a ma, Best a MA, Best a Ma…”

“So you want the tree, I already gave it to Chipendale to make a lovely end table.”

“Oh move out of my way..”

“Or else…”

“Or else we can shine a bright light upon you and you can play with your shadow, Hey Luce, are you there?”

Adam pulls out a giant mag light and shines it on his father casting dark shadows on the wall. Out of the one to the left appears an impish person, about the same height and built as Yahweh, but more acute angles rendering his drawn face terminating in a Mephistocles beard and mustache.

“Ah, Adam it has been a long time since Sodom, how is the misses, are you still playing with those sheep, the cliff and all, hear they are jolly good that way, still trying to get out of your father’s shadow, feeling a little inadequate..”

“Get off of it, the two of you are so inept in the endowment area you had to scour the earth to find one woman who would be pleased by the two and a half inches the two of you could muster up. Good thing for wet dreams hey, I think you guys put the truth in advertising, politics, and used cars. Talk about wild fish stories…”

“I see you have not accomplished much, nephew! Still running with those apes?”

“Hey wasn’t you I saw a few years ago do the funky tango with that green monkey!”

“Hey J, how bout me and you finding some Job character and torment him some….”

“Son, now I mean everything in your best interest..”

“Best interest, I was very content picking up berries and painting on cave walls until you took me away from all of that , just on the account that I looked up into the sky and asked why, to tell the truth I think I was just mumbling something in response to indigestion, and Off I am whooshed to this garden only to be kicked out so you can rip a rib out of me so you could transform it into someone who gets a bum rush deal and gets strung out on Prozac and forces, yes Luc, to play with the sheep after she yells my head off for no good reason and….”

“Are you done!”

“Yeah!”

“Good…”

“Now where is that tree..”

The man in the Irish knit cable sweater heads out to the center leaving the dynamic duo to themselves. After some walking he hears the uncanny tune of Look On the Bright Side of Life and enters the clearing as he sees a man in a tree house singing the verse..”Life is a piece of shit, when you look at it..”

“Oh excuse me, I did not see you coming, would you like some tea, my are you looking fine as of late! Have I ever thanked you for caring me over that ocean, or I Have, well thanks again, I always did prefer the name St. Christopher, so how have you been, I always knew you would come.”

“So this is where you been hanging out at?”

“No, I just knew today was the day and I wanted to return to the place of our first meeting, you know your father only means well, it is just that Sophia just bums around to herself up there. Stuck between here and there, Very straight forward thinker, that is her problem can not think in circular motions of events. Always point a terminating in point B, very lonely that one is.”

“Any room for them in that tree house of yours?”

“Sure they just have to realize it for themselves, is that incarnation of us writing that story yet?”

” I am pretty sure.”

In a ugly little house on a sinking street that leaves the house settling a little to the right and a little more to the left is a man named Christopher, who at that moment, not the one in which you are reading this but the moment he was writing this as the one in which they had asked if he was, but then as we have seen earlier time for them, or that matter anyone does not really exist, so it is safe to say that this writing was done light years from now or just a few moments ago, but this referencing is inadequate because it uses flawed speech that refers to time that in its self is non-existent…..

“Get on with it” rings in chorus from the heavens…

“Yeah, we just got to get him to hug her.”

“How do we do that, the only words she ever said to him was ‘Liar!’ and that was an end of it.”

” No remember she added he was a minor little psychopomp with a mania problem, I think they were her exact words.”

“Never-less, we need him to hug her. Ever learn anything from Mercury hanging in that threshold?”

“We can try dressing her up as a Cow, which won’t be too hard she has been eating a lot of chocolate and Ben and Jerry’s. Bit depressed you know.”

” A cow?”

“Yeah, one of Mercury’s tricks. Hide a cow in the cave and pretend that it really is a woman that he is hiding from one of his wives so when she finds out she will never know the better he is really tickling some udders. Quite ingenious trick I must say, but he likes cows. I prefer the milk maids myself and a little butter to go on my crepes and a tall drink of milk…”

“Isn’t that a bit of incest.”

“Now how did you populate the world again, Adam.”

“Enough of that, those other cro-mags were not as intellectually stimulating.”

“Well I was planning to stop things before they got that far, Hell I am suppose to marry the old Broad.”

“You old snake you, Christ come down here and lets get started. You think we can get rid of that hormone and bleeding thing with women and go back to the stork, I think they will really like that, I would really like that. For once it would be nice to know what I am getting yelled at for.”

“Sure.”

“Good.” So Adam and Christ went into the limbo and put Sophia in a cow costume, led Yahweh up there, stopped things from getting kinky and stuck their names onto the family tree of life with the rest of humanity and the species of the earth. Yahweh got his comfort and stopped chasing golden cows, Sophia was able to think in circles and now is racing the Nascar circuit, Jesus is enjoying solitary walks in the Jersey Pine Barrens and dancing at night at the local pub, Adam knows what he is getting yelled at for a change, Eve has put out of business the Tampax company along with prozac and is happy just being, and the stork is real busy once more.

Chris Dowgin is proprietor of Docspond Life Coach Services and Norgeforge Illuminatin Studios

Understanding Attachment Theory and It’s Models

Writen by Paul Kennard

While reading Julia Wood’s Relational Communication, I identified with many of the topics discussed, perhaps none more so than the section devoted to attachment theory. The theory provided me with many new insights regarding my self-perception and my relationships with others. Throughout the reading, I find the theory accurately describing my childhood and my emotions.

According to Wood (2000), attachment theory claims that our earliest experiences decisively influence how we view ourselves, others, and relationships. Wood continues by citing studies by Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall (1978) that found that the initial bonding between a child and its primary caregiver, usually the mother, is the first and an especially formative influence on individual’s views of relationships. As a child, my stay at home mom primarily raised me. In parenting, my mother definitely displayed characteristics of the secure attachment model as she consistently responded to me in a loving, reassuring, and supportive way.

My early childhood is consistent with Wood’s analysis of influences on the likelihood that the primary caregiver will exhibit loving, nurturing, and attentive behavior. My family is upper middle class as my father as an attorney was able to financially provide for us without my mother working. However, this situation also provided a down side, as my father was constantly busy with work and other social commitments. With my father, I was not able to form the same bond present with my mother. Early memories with my father are reflections of polar opposites as I remember receiving either high praise for a job well done (usually involving school work) or criticism for failing somehow (usually involving undesirable behavior). The lack of interaction and the sharp contrast present in the limited time we spent together led to the formation of an anxious-resistant attachment model.

Using the attachment theory and its models of secure attachment and anxious-resistant attachment as guides I can look back on my previous experiences and see an inner battle between the models. While growing up, I would have periods that typified behavior predicted by the secure attachment model as I exhibited a confident, positive, secure view of myself and those around me and was open to new experiences and people. However, I also entered periods involving high self-criticism and an over-dependence on how others’ view me.

When looking back, I found that my periods of secure and anxious resistant attachments would alternate depending on the amount of support I would feel from my mother. For example, when we moved to another town, I went through a period in which I was extremely self-critical and modeled myself according to what my new friends perceived me to be. During this time, my mother was busy with our home construction and dealing with my new baby brother, which left less time for me. Conversely, when my mom took the position as my high school librarian I went through a period of extreme positive ness and confidence in others and myself as my mother and I now saw each other often throughout the school day. With the death of my mother a year and half ago, I found myself struggling with my self-perception and my relationships with others. I no longer have a primary positive relationship in my life to seek support from, as my father and I still are emotionally distant. Like Glenn’s reflection in Wood (2000), I have again been developing a more confident, positive view of others and myself thanks to a few very special people that refuse to let me be negative.

I found attachment theory and its models to be very enlightening. This theory is one of the first interpersonal theories in which I see myself illustrating. Understanding attachment theory has helped me to better understand myself and my actions towards others. With my new knowledge, I now can continue to work to find friends who work to combat my anxious-resistant side.

Secret Guide To Becoming Rich And Famous

Writen by D Crenshaw

1. So You Want To Be Famous

Forget any life beyond the single-minded pursuit of fame. Family, friends, and acquaintances exist to solely to aid the realization of your dream. You will need an XXXL ego. Since they don’t carry these in normal department stores, you’ll have to make it yourself. I advise standing in front of a mirror at least two hours a day, repeating the magic phrase “I am the greatest!” Once you’re successful practicing your primadonna attitude on friends and family, now it’s time to take it up a notch!

2. Into The Real World

Many a hopeful young star has been sorely discouraged by how tough reality can be. People will ignore and mistreat you the second you start acting important. You can’t let it get you down! Constantly boost your self-esteem by telling yourself how stupid everyone is. After all, if they were smart, wouldn’t they be famous themselves? Another great way to maintain your bloated ego is to surround yourself with a flattering coterie of admirers. The truth is if someone expresses a critical opinion of you, they weren’t really your friend after all.

3. It’s Who You Know

Next it’s time to find a hookup. To do this you must start hobnobbing with celebrities. Start where you live. Do whatever it takes to get into backstage, after-hour parties. Lying, conniving and sleeping around are all acceptable methods of doing this. The goal is to get you famous and you can’t let anything hold you back!

4. Know Your Target

It’s important for you to be able to identify the movers and shakers in society. These are the people who can make stars. You’ll notice them because they’re the people who attract all the attention at parties. Everyone laughs at their jokes and then get quiet when they voice their opinions.

5. Get Attention

It may be hard to get noticed at first by these social magnets. The worst thing you can ever do is compliment them or appear eager to meet them. A surefire trick in enlisting their aid is to show them up in front of their friends. People like this have something we call inferiority complexes. Nothing impresses them more than making them look bad.

6. Take Everything That Isn’t Nailed Down

Once you’ve sufficiently caught your mark’s attention, then comes the time to introduce yourself. Pretend to be their friend. Get their telephone number or better yet have them ask for yours! In a few days get back in touch. Remember you need to stay on the offensive. Always maintain the upper hand in dealing with these people. Very casually pump them for contacts. Get introductions from them. Above all, use them for all their worth. That’s the only way you’ll earn their respect. Don’t dally though! Once they realize you’ve manipulated them, they’ll try to bring you down with every envious bone of their body.

7. Elevating Up The Social Ladder

Once you start to make it into the inner circle of truly famous people, now the real work begins. You have to make it look like you belong. Celebrities are constantly plied for favors, so you have to appear more important them. Remember “impress” is the key to success! Make to the star think you’re doing a favor by associating with them. I could explain it with the vagaries of psychology, but the simple truth is if you can make yourself believe something, then others will too. Self-deception is the name of the game here. It’s just another handy tool in your arsenal.

8. Never Admit You’re Wrong!

When you admit to a mistake this makes you look weak and stupid. Now that you’re making progress you can’t allow anything to take you backwards. Confidence is more important than ever. Confidence will attract people to you. It makes them do what you want. Soon you’ll have everyone bending over to curry your favor. Upon receiving a gift always bestow effusive praise and thanks. But don’t forget the zinger! Casually mention what person X did for you last week. This way you’ll train them to do better next time.

The more exciting your life seems, the more people will want to be in it. Appearance is ninety percent of the game. The rest requires some calculating and cunning, but if you precisely follow my step-by-step instructions, then fame cannot elude you! Finally, I have to warn you if you do fail, you need to face the number one factoid of life: Beautiful people are just better!

The author Daniel Crenshaw runs the website http://www.freedommedium.com